


The Chop

by waterlit



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, Friendship, Humor, Slight Allen/Lenalee, old fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-08 11:37:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16428653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterlit/pseuds/waterlit
Summary: Kanda Yu's acting career is stuck in a rut. Enter Allen Walker, hairstylist extraordinaire. Very slight Allen/Lenalee.





	The Chop

Lavi tapped his chin with his fingers as he studied the man in the chair. "You need a makeover!" 

"I concur," Lenalee said.

"No!" Kanda directed his trademark glare at the _rodents_ who had tied him up and bundled him into said chair. "No way in fucking hell!"

"What do you think, Daisya?" Lavi asked, as if Kanda had not spoken.

"Perfect," Daisya said. "It'll be perfect!"

"My sentiments exactly," Lavi said. "I'm so excited!"

Kanda strained against his bonds. "Shut up, idiots! This is my hair—I decide what to do with it!" 

"But I'm your manager," Lavi said.

"And I'm your stylist," Lenalee said.

"And I," Daisya said, (foolishly) slipping an arm around Kanda's shoulder, "am your brother!"

"So we get to decide," Lavi said, winking.

"Fuck, no—"

"Watch the potty mouth," Lavi said. "Your image is bad enough as it is. Please stop ruining our efforts at turning you into the next big star."

"What's wrong with my career? I'm already a household name, for chrissake."

"You are," Lenalee said, leaning forward, "but think about all your recent roles, Kanda."

"What's wrong with them?"

"You're stuck in a rut, you poor boy," Daisya said. "Hey, don't you dare bite my arm! It's not my fault people like to see you with long hair, you pretty boy, you."

"I think that's why you get cast in period dramas so often—it's your hair. It makes things easier for the makeup and costume departments," Lavi said.

Kanda seethed. "I am not cutting it."

"Don't worry, we won't make you cut it yourself," Lenalee said.

"Only the best for Yu," Lavi agreed. "The best."

"Tyki Mikk from Noah Salon?" Daisya suggested.

"Sounds good," Lenalee said. "I've seen him do wonders. He was features in no less than five magazines and blogs last month."

"Tyki Mikk it is," Lavi said. "I'll call him right now."

* * *

 

The doorbell rang, and Lavi rushed to the entrance.

The newcomer stuck a gloved hand out. Lavi took the hand. "Hello there! Please come in. I'm Lavi Bookman, Kanda Yu's manager. Pleased to meet you, and thank you for coming."

"It's my pleasure," the man said, taking his fedora off. His white hair glistened against the light as he stood in the hallway.

"This way, Mr Mikk," Lavi said.

The man stopped. "Oh, no, I'm not Tyki! I'm Allen Walker, also from Noah Salon."

"Ah," Lavi said. "Tyki Mikk didn't come? There must be a mistake, I think. I'm sorry, could you wait while I call Noah?"

"Tyki didn't have the guts to come here, not with all the rumours on Kanda Yu's temper," Allen said. He smiled. "Not to blow my own trumpet, but I have worked at Noah for a few years, so there is no need to worry that I lack the necessary skills."

"I didn't mean that," Lavi said. He looked at Allen. "Do you know who Kanda Yu is?"

"Who doesn't?" Allen asked. He laughed. "I don't care for his tele-movies and dramas too much, myself. But that's hardly a prerequisite for a hair-styling appointment, is it?"

"No, it isn't." Lavi gestured to the stairs. "This way, Mr Walker! Just thought I should warn you; Kanda's quite touchy about his hair. But don't mind him, okay? He needs this haircut as much as... as much as he needs to get laid. Wow. He has serious inadequacies. I need to remedy this!"

Allen laughed. "I love a good challenge."

"He'll be a right bitch about it," Lavi said. "You can just ignore him when you're doing your thing."

"I know. I've heard from Tyki about how scary Kanda is when he's in the chair."

Lavi pushed a door open. "Kanda! Allen Walker is here to cut your hair!"

"I don't want my hair cut!" Kanda shouted. "Untie me at once!"

"No can do." Lavi pushed Allen ahead of him. "Here, Allen, there he is. Work your magic!"

Allen ran his fingers through Kanda's hair. "I think he needs a good chop."

"Get your filthy fingers off me, you fucking asshat!"

"Hush, Kanda," Lenalee said. She smiled at Allen and gave Kanda a pat on the shoulder.

Allen pretended that Kanda hadn't spoken. "I'm thinking... the Chop will be quite suitable, with Mr Kanda's lovely bone structure. I'll keep the blunt fringe, of course, though I'll update it with a piece-y feel. Effortlessly chic. What do you think, Mr Bookman?"

"Oh, you can call me Lavi! And yeah, sure, why not?"

"I'll get to work, then."

Allen reached for his scissors, ignoring Kanda's strangled cries.

* * *

 

"He looks—wow," Lenalee said. "You're wonderful, Allen! How much do you charge?"

Allen positively beamed as he used a razor on the ends of Kanda's hair. "Thank you for the compliment. For such a lovely lady... I'll be sure to give you a discount."

Lenalee's expression brightened.

Meanwhile, Lavi walked from side to side, studying Kanda from all angles. "You really do look good, Yu. You look so undone, so hot! Now all we need is to put you in a pair of skinnies and a half-buttoned shirt and present you to the press. Voila! New image, new career direction!"

"Shut up!"

"What's with the frown?" Allen asked his client. "You don't like the way you look?"

"I don't."

"I feel insulted," Allen said.

"Don't be," Lavi said. "His opinion is overrated, Allen. Good job and here's your cheque!"

"Thank you for your services, Allen," Lenalee said. "We appreciate your help. Drop by soon—I'd love to chat more!"

* * *

 

_Six months later_

"Have a look at this," Tyki said, pushing a magazine towards Allen.

"What's that?"

Tyki cleared his throat. "Kanda Yu breaks new ground in his new movie, where he plays a con man. No longer is this actor, whose enviable looks and acting chops have been for a long time hidden from us all, stuck only with period dramas roles. His rise to the silver screen can be largely credited to his debut of a new sexy hairstyle. Lavi Bookman, Kanda's manager, has stated that this hairstyle is to be credited to Allen Walker, rising star of the Noah group of salons." 

"Allen is becoming a star," Road said. She grinned and hugged Allen. 'I'm so proud of you!"

"You have a call," Devitto said, coming into the room. He blinked when Road rose. "I meant Allen and not you, Road."

Allen took the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey, Al, remember me? I'm Lavi! You free tomorrow? We want to invite you to dinner as a gesture of thanks!"

"It's fine, Lavi, you've already paid me!" said Allen.

"No, no, I insist. Have you seen that feature of Yu's? You're mentioned in it! And... actually Lenalee wants to meet you."

"She does?"

"Yeah, she can't stop raving about you. So come, okay? I'm kind of tired about her going on about you. Although you may not want to mention that I said that. Actually, please don't bring this up at all or she'll have my head. And anyway Kanda needs a trim, too, so you might want to come maybe an hour before dinner? Same place as the last time."

"Okay."

"Bye! Oh wait. Bring flowers for the lady! I've dropped enough hints, haven't I?"

"Okay." Allen ended the call.

"What was that all about?" Tyki asked.

"Nothing much," Allen said. "I need to step out for a while."

"Where are you going?" Road asked.

"To find a florist, and then to dinner." Allen paused at the door as he waved goodbye. "I'll see you all on Monday."

**Author's Note:**

> First posted on FFN in Jan 2014.


End file.
